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Alexander
Category Military/War , Epic/Historic
Year: 2004
Time: 175 minutes
Production: Warner Bros.
Director: Oliver Stone
Cast:
Colin Farrell, Angelina Jolie, Val Kilmer, Anthony Hopkins, Jared Leto, Rosario Dawson
MPAA R / UK15
Our Rating 2/10 - Just watch the trailer instead
Watchability 1/10 - Had the DVD for 3yrs until I decided to watch it
Contributed by WB
Contributor's Score Rating: 1/10
 
Plot:

An epic about the life of Alexander (Colin Farrell), King of Macedonia, who conquered most of the known world before he was 25 through a relentless series of campaigns and battles - although the movie only shows 2 or 3 highlights. Flashbacks reveal a tortured upbringing by his strange parents King Philip (Val Kilmer) and his wife (a ridiculously miscast Angelina Jolie, who looks younger than Colin Farrell throughout most of the film); and long scenes between the fighting highlight his friendship with Hephaistion (Jared Leto) and a lot of shouting as he executes anyone that dares speak out against him.

 
So, how does it end?

There is a huge battle in India against Lord of the Rings style giant armoured elephants, and Alexander is wounded. They even kill his horse too.
  He calls a halt to the constant fighting, and they all return to Babylon - although a load more die on the journey home.

They aren't home for long when his friend Jared Leto falls ill, and while Alexander is giving a long monologue (while looking out the window) he dies in the backgrond.

Alexander is overcome with grief and parties hard. In Flashbacks we see more about his rise to power when his father was murdered. He accused his mother a few times, but she denied everything. Like a teenager he blames his parents for everything wrong in his life. To be fair, they weren't model parents.

He is soon on his deathbed. His army captains have crowded round him, desperate to hear who will be the King. His heart gives out, the ring in his hand smacks against the floor, and the captains fight over the body.

Angelina Jolie, suddenly looking old, sees the bad omen of a snake biting a flying eagle.

Anthony Hopkirk then gives a 10 minute talk to his class about what happened. He explains that Alexander died a month before his 33rd birthday, and his empire was divided up into 4 parts. He hints about something going on with his death, and he blames himself, but it's so boring it's difficult to pay attention to it.

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2.50/10 ( 2 Votes )
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