Category Comedy , Action
Year: 2010
Time: 96 minutes
Production: Crimson Bolt
Director: James Gunn
Rainn Wilson, Ellen Page, Liv Tyler, Kevin Bacon, Michael Rooker, Gregg Henry
Our Rating 2/10 - Could have been so much better if they lost the dark edge to it
Watchability 2/10 - you'll have seen the funny scenes already in the trailer
Contributed by JT
Tag-line Shut up, crime!

Frank's small world comes crashing down when his beloved wife, Sarah (Liv Tyler), walks out on him one day and chooses to be with Jacques (Kevin Bacon), a local small-time drug-dealer. After apparently having a vision to dispense justice, Frank enters into the local comic store where, with the guidance of the cashier, Libby (Ellen Page), he chooses a new persona -- a superhero (without any super powers) called The Crimson Bolt whose weapon against crime is a simple wrench.

So, how does it end?

After Libby (dressed as Boltie) rapes Frank while he is on the sofa (!! it's a dark movie), he is sick in the toilet. The sick moves around until it forms a picture - a sort of sign to him that he is ready to rescue his estranged wife, Sarah, from Jacques the drug dealer.

They get ready in their superhero costumes, and then break into Jacques' mansion compound. They take out a few guards, usually by shooting them.

Meanwhile, a meeting is going on inside the mansion between Jacques and a big drug dealer called Mr Range. To sweeten the deal, Mr Range takes away a stoned Sarah. Jacques has little choice, but when he hears Sarah trying her best to fight him off in the other room, he shows his true character and decides that it's time he finds himself a new girlfriend.

Suddenly, Jacques and his men can hear the carnage outside when the Crimson Bolt unleashes a few grenades and shoots more guards dead.

After another firefight, both superheroes are shot -- but Boltie has taken a shotgun blast to the head, and lies dead next to Frank.

Frank, motivated, gets to his feet and unleashes round after round into the bad guys. As he walks towards the mansion he fires another shot into each body, to make sure they're dead.

Jacques is scared. He shoots the rival drug dealer when he threatens to walk away from the deal. He sends Abe outside, then takes Sarah as protection and runs upstairs.

Frank dispatches more guards - including smashing Abe's head on a hard surface repeatedly and graphically.

Inside the mansion Frank climbs the stairs where he is caught unaware by Jacques and beaten up. He is down on his luck again, but manages to summon his superhero courage and wins the day, killing Jacques and rescuing Sarah.

Sarah, out of obligation rather than any feelings, stays with Frank for a few more months to take care of him. She realises her own true calling - to help others with addictions.

Soon enough she leaves him again, and this time marries a nice guy and they raise a family together.

Frank is content, and the kids treat him like a kind old uncle. Suddenly his wall is filled with pictures of hundreds of happy memories.


I figured that the only way the little-known director attracted the good cast to this one (including Liv Tyler and Kevin Bacon - who should know better) was with shed-loads of cash ... but turns out that (according to the extra features) the original script was very funny and had each of them sold by the 22nd page.

Must have been some script. Although, to be fair, it's probably funnier to read:

"The Crimson Bolt approaches the queue-jumper outside the theater. He lifts the heavy monkey wrench in his hand, and then smacks him on the forehead as a warning"

...than to actually see this, graphically and too realistically, on screen which kind of takes away the spoof-humor intended.

2.00/10 ( 3 Votes )
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