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Colombiana
Category Action
Year: 2011
Time: 108 minutes
Production: Europa Corp
Director: Olivier Megaton
Cast:
Zoe Saldana, Jordi Molla, Michael Vartan, Cliff Curtis
MPAA PG-13 / UK15
Our Rating 6/10
Watchability 7/10
Contributed by JT
Tag-line Revenge is beautiful.
 
Plot:

"A young woman, after witnessing her parents' murder as a child in Bogota, grows up to be a stone-cold assassin."

 
So, how does it end?

Danny has fallen in love with Cataleya, but still knows nothing about her. Whle she is asleep, like a stalker he takes a picture of her on his camera phone(!). He wakes up having slept in, is angry with him for no reason and hurries off to meet her Uncle Emilio at the library.

Emilio shows her the newspaper -- finally the Feds have released info on the murders, hoping to catch a break. Over many years she has randomly killed bad guys, and painted a picture of the Cataleya flower on the chest of each victim. She was hoping to send a message to the evil drug Cartel boss, who has been protected by the CIA all this time.

Finally, Don Luis, the bad dude, has got the message.

Emilio is angry with his niece, and will not help her anymore.

Meanwhile, Danny has shown the picture to his best friend - who has sent it to someone at the DMV. When she scans the picture, somehow it recognises the ear and nose (!) and this sends an alert to the Feds as a match from their grainy CCTV picture.  They identify Cataleya, and immediately the whole Force descends on her apartment block.

Cataleya's security cameras warn her of the intruders. She calls Danny to find out what happened. With seconds to spare she escapes, breaks into another apartment to grab a sniper rifle hidden away, knocks out the apartment owner who was casually watching TV, then blows a hole through the poor guy's bathroom wall into the elevator shaft. She manages to duck away while the building is locked down.

Meanwhile, Marco, the right hand man of Don Luis, is told to hunt for Colombians in every major city until she is found.  Soon, somehow, he does his job and finds Emilio.  Cataleya returns home to find her adopted family murdered.

On a mission, first she breaks into Agent Ross's home (the man heading up the investigation). She has planted an explosive on his chair, but first wants some answers. She wants him to meet again with the contact at the CIA who knows the safe house address of Don Luis ... or she will harm his family.

Next day, Ross goes to see the CIA contact, who at first flat-refuses to help.  Ross gets a phone call - Cataleya is sat across the street with a sniper rifle. She takes a shot through the window.  The CIA agent panics and gives up the address.

The Don orders more guards at his mansion.  Cataleya breaks in to the compound hiding under one of the trucks carrying more men.  While Marco is laying down a plan for the noobs, she fires an RPG into the main room - but, somehow, no one is hurt.  She then shows up with a few machine guns, and people start dying all over the place.  She hides in the floorboards, but even a grenade can't kill her.  The Don is locked into a safe room, while Marco and one remaining guard make a run for it into a second building.

Marco looks himself in the bathroom. He can hear a gunshot. The guard is dead.  Cataleya breaks her way into the bathroom, but Marco gets the drop on her and they fight it out. Finally (and, this is a new one) she stabs him, in the neck, with a gun.  Not a rifle just ... a gun.  I'm no expert, but surely that could never happen.

The Don has made a run for it and grabbed the first truck he can find. He gets a call from Marco - but, of course, it's Cataleya.  Don Luis says he will hide and she'll never catch him. He looks into the back - and there sit both of Cataleya's hounds.  She tells them to "Eat".  Don Luis screams and the truck pulls over to the side of the road.

A little later, Danny is still being questioned by Ross. He receives a call - Cataleya says that he has time to ask her 3 things. She tells him her name. Danny says he loves her, and asks if he'll see her again. She cuts the call so it can't be traced, and then takes the bus out of town.  Even though nothing has really changed, Danny is told he is now free to leave.

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