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Cowboys & Aliens
Category Action , Sci-Fi , Thriller
Year: 2011
Time: 118 minutes
Production: Universal Pictures
Director: Jon Favreau
Cast:
Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford, Olivia Wilde, Sam Rockwell, Paul Dano
MPAA PG-13 / UK-12A
Our Rating 4/10 - An extra point for the special effects
Watchability 3/10 - Just didn't get it. At least the good guys win unlike 'Skyline'.
Contributed by JT
 
Plot:

A Wild West Government cover-up of epic proportions - Apparently aliens arrived in 1873 to kick up a fuss and steal our gold. Jake Lonergan (Daniel Craig) is a thief with a bad memory, who stole a load of gold from the powerful Woodrow Dolarhyde (Harrison Ford), but finds himself alone in the desert ... with a strange metal bracelet on his wrist.  His troubles begin in town when he stands up against Dolarhyde's son and his past crimes are soon brought to light by the sheriff.  But fighting the Law is soon to be the least of his worries...

 
So, how does it end?

After the aliens show up, for no apparent reason, in the town and capture a load of people and make a fuss (... again for no apparent reason - I mean, how many anal probes does it take?!) they chase an injured alien away in the direction the spacecraft flew away.

Along the way they meet Jake's old gang, under the leadership of someone else now since he stole the gold. Jake's armband opens again and he kills the gang leader - and the others give chase.

The alien spaceships show up again - and Ella Swenson is captured. Jake chases after the ship, jumps onboard, and takes it out. They crash-land in a lake.  They make it to land - but then the alien pilot shows up and stabs Swenson with his claws. Jake finishes the alien off.

Jake carries an injured Swenson back to the others. Exhausted he drops to his knees ... but she is already dead. Suddenly a whole load of Indians show up and take the survivors captive. They dump Ella's body onto the campfire flames ... but then like a Phoenix she emerges, naked, and walks towards Jake.  He covers her up, and a little like the Ewoks in Return of the Jedi, all is forgiven by a bit of magic and everyone is the best of friends.

It seems that Swenson is some type of other alien, a nicer alien, whose people were captured by the bad aliens. She tells us that the bad aliens are after gold.

Jake is given a potion that helps him remember -- he was taken captive, watched his partner die, but snatched one of the aliens armbands and escaped. He remembers where their mothership is and they all set out on the hunt.

They need more people, so Lonergan gets his old gang involved.  They plant some dynamite on top of the mining mothership, and then draw the aliens out into the open.

Jake and Swenson get inside and free the captives. The people outside aren't doing so well (the Ewoks did a better job against the Stormtroopers), but Jake manages to kill plenty with his bracelet.  Swenson kisses him to make him forget about the armband, and she takes it.

The ship is taking off to get away from these pesky humans. Jake escapes but Swenson stays behind to save the day. More aliens are emerging from little eggs as she powers up the bracelet and destroys the ship.

Everyone cheers. Jake is a little upset - but seeing as though Swenson survived the flames before I'm sure she'll be alright in no time.

Back in town Woodrow is a changed man and asks Jake to stay. The town is rich with gold, and they have given Jake his freedom, but he wants to wander the world aimlessly instead.

 
Notes
The fact it has at least 7 credited screenwriters means it should be a whole lot better than it is! They should have learnt the lesson from Scary Movie 3.
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